Now seeing as the front porch isn't a terribly good place for a bird to live, what with all the glass windows and complete lack of anything edible, I decided to help the bird back out into the wild blue. I opened the porch door, and set about chasing the little bugger out.
It didn't go quite as planned though, and the bird ended up parking himself on top of a wood pile in a corner of the porch. I used a stick to chase him out of there, at which point he hopped over to just behind the wood fridge (long story).
Seeing as his tail was sticking out, I came up with the bright idea that I would grab his tail, pluck him out, and toss him out the door. Well, as it turned out, his tail feathers were the only part I managed to pluck out. Oops.
Undeterred, I used the aforementioned stick to prod and poke the bird, eventually dragging him out from behind the wood fridge, at which point I just picked him up and tossed him out the door, and watched him safely fly away.
And that was my fun for the day.