Sunday, March 25, 2012

Fun with spam bots

I had a spam-bot IM me this afternoon, and figured I'd have fun with it to kill some time.

AIM IM with [DELETED] Today 4:29 PM
Bot: heya.
Me: hello spam bot. are you here to sell me herbal viagra?
Bot: Im not a freaking bot
Me: sure you aren't
Bot: Hey whats up. 23 female here. You?
Me: 350 years old, clockwork
Bot: Hmmm. Have we talked before?
Me: my punch cards do not have any record of a previous conversation
Bot: Oh ok. Sorry I wasnt sure. Anyways... Whats up?
Me: sorry if I'm a bit slow to respond, my boiler is a bit low on coal
Bot: Im like sooo bored. There is nothing to do.
Bot: Ohhh wait! I have GREAT idea. Have you ever watched a sexy girl like me strip live on a cam before?
Me: I'm sorry, my mechanism was not engineered with a visual input device
Bot: Well.... Would you like to watch me strip?
Me: I would only be able to record a textual description thereof. do you have a live teletype feed?
Bot: Ok well my cam is linked through this website so I cant be recorded so you will have to sign up there
Bot: But dont worry it only takes a minute and it is free. kk?
Me: I would like to know more about you first. are you a brass-cogged mechanism or are you a more modern steel design?
Bot: [URL removed] Mmk go there then click on the gold Join Free button at the top
Me: I wouldn't like to look at a steel design. I'm not a pedophile, they're too young for me
Bot: Also it will ask for a credit card when you sign up but its just to keep the kids out. It dosent charge the card.
Me: I only have punch cards, not credit cards. do you accept paper tape perhaps?
Bot: I do have some toys i can play with but you will have to tip me some gold or join me in private to see those
Bot: Lets talk on that site babe my messenger is messing up. Ok?
Me: I'm afraid gold is too soft for my mechanism, it fouls my geartrain

And that's pretty much when I got bored and closed the chat.