This afternoon, though, I was out shopping and decided that enough was enough: it was time to get myself a controller. Rather than get a PC game controller, though, I instead opted for a PS3 DualShock 3 controller, with the assumption that I'd be able to make it work with my computers, since it's just a bluetooth device after all.
I figured I might need to do some tinkering or scrounging for some hacked drivers or something, but much to my delight it turns out that OS X has built-in support for the DualShock 3 controller, so all I had to do was plug it in to sync/charge it, and it immediately connected via bluetooth and provided full HID capability.
This pleases me.
I haven't managed to get it connected to my Wintendo, though, as my PC currently lacks bluetooth. I've added a bluetooth dongle to my xmas list, though, so hopefully that problem won't persist forever.